“Chronic Pain is just that . . . CHRONIC; it rarely cuts you a break, never goes away, and it changes EVERYTHING—IF YOU LET IT.” -Anonymous
“Worrying won’t stop the bad things from happening; it just stops you from enjoying the good.” –Anonymous
On February 14, 2104, my husband and I celebrated the first
day that we met 27 years ago on Valentines Day Night, February 14, 1987. At the
beginning of the week (Feb. 2014), I was feeling well – for someone who has
lived with chronic illness and chronic pain for 16 years. So, my husband and I
made special plans to celebrate the 27th Anniversary of the Day we
first met. He made lunch reservations at a beautiful restaurant in a nearby
city, and purchased online tickets for a matinee that we would see afterwards.
My husband is so considerate of me, and while he would rather watch an action
adventure or a science fiction movie, he chose a movie filled with Love and
Romance, because he understands (after 27 years together) that I would rather
watch a love story or a romantic comedy when we go to the movies together.
We both were looking forward to our 27th Valentines
Day afternoon together; but, we have both learned that it is often difficult to
make plans and to keep our plans because of my chronic health issues. AND, when
I woke up at 2 am on Friday morning and could not get back to sleep; when I
began to have a horrible headache, a dull pain in my right hip, and stomach pain,
I began to cry and to pray. I have often asked God when I pray, “Why I am one
of the millions of people in the world chosen to struggle with Chronic Illness
and Chronic Pain?” I cried because I realized that my husband and I would not
have our Valentines Day Celebration as we had planned. I prayed that God would
take my pain away (enough) so that we would be able to enjoy our special day
together. I prayed that God would give me emotional and physical strength to
enjoy our day together, even though I was experiencing pain.
Since I have had 16 years to adapt my life to Chronic
Pain, I am thankful for every day, but especially grateful for the days when I
feel physically well; yet, I also understand that there is always a chance when
some aspect of my chronic illnesses/pain may interrupt my life—and not in a way
that I look forward to. My husband
understands this, too. So, when I walked into his home office around 9 am
Friday morning, still in my pj's, he looked into my eyes and knew that we
wouldn't be celebrating the 27th day that we met the way that we had
planned earlier in the week. He also looked at me with all the love that a
husband could ever have for his wife. As I saw sadness and concern come over
his face, I knew that his look of empathy was not because we wouldn't be
enjoying lunch and a matinee together; instead, I understood that it was he was
confirming his constant compassion that he always demonstrates when I
experience chronic pain flare ups. After 27 years together, we appreciate our
marriage, our love, our friendship, and our family, and we welcome each day
that we share together—chronic pain and all.
If you are a healthy person, have a few aches and pains
that go away on their own or after you take a Tylenol, perhaps you do not
understand why I am writing my 27th Valentines Day story in this
way. Two of my favorite quotes that I have found online as I have been
researching the lack of understanding about Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain
are “CHRONIC PAIN: Unless you get it, you don’t get it” (Anonymous) and “The Greatest Wealth is Health” (Sarchar
Leone). I realize that many who read
this may think that I am complaining and whining when I write about or speak
about my pain and my health issues . . . But, those of you who are part of the
hundred million people in the world today who suffer with some form of Chronic
Illness or Chronic Pain—I know that you understand. As many with Chronic
Illnesses choose to live their lives of chronic pain in silence, I am stepping
out to break the silence and the misunderstanding about the causes, cures, and
treatments of the disease known by many names, which I call “Chronic Pain.”
I ask
you to stand with me and to stand beside me as I further my Mrs. Mississippi
International 2014 message to “Bring a Voice to the Silent World of Chronic
Pain.” I value your support, your encouragement, and your interest in a
platform that is not spoken about often enough in the world we live in.
I
also want you to know that neither my husband, nor myself are upset that we
didn't get to celebrate Valentine’s Day 2014, out on the town together. We
recognize that each day of our marriage is a celebration of the life that we
have together and the blessings that we share together as husband and wife and
as the parents of our two beautiful daughters. While we all continue to hope
and pray for my freedom from chronic pain, we each accept my life as it is moment
by moment—Chronic Pain may hinder me, but it will not keep me from living my
life to its fullest! Some days, Chronic Pain may stop me for a time; but, I
will get up and keep going. And with my husband and my girls by my side, with
the support of other family members, and friends, I will continue to strive, to
survive and to thrive through Chronic Pain!
—Stop Worrying about things you can’t control
—Each Day is a Gift
—Acknowledge Chronic Pain through Compassion,
Understanding, and Awareness
Jeremiah 29: 11-13
Be Brave,
Angie Russell
Irvin
Mrs. Mississippi
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